Oh...

in
So it was johnny that was shot... ahh... I see... To all of you that are pissed off by it... fuck off... thats what he gets for selling ciggarettes to little kids, coming to our country and getting a tax break for being foreign, and for helping to decline society even more. *nods* I bet he wasn't even shot because of his ethnic origins... I bet it was because he was a low down dirty piece of shit that broke the law many many times daily by selling tobacco products to kids. I bet thats why he was shot.

I can't..

in
I can't do this... I can't keep living... I just can't... I tried... I tried so hard... I took all kinds of shit... I'm serious, I can't deal with it. 3 days left with a roof over my head... 3 days till I turn 18... no car, no money, no job... I get to spend my 18th birthday weekend alone... don't even have my brother to spend it with cause he's on road call for coke this weekend. *sighs* things need to get much better in the next 3 days... and I need to find a place to live close enough to places that are hiring so I'll be able to walk to a job.

This is bullshit

in
This is fucking bullshit... I paid 2grand for my car... put 1000 worth of repair into it... and now they are totaling it and said the max I'll get is 1000 because "the fuel lines are all destroyed, the fuel pump is shot and there are lots of other wear and tear on it" thats fucking bullshit... none of that shit is true. now mom is saying she's not giving me a penny of it that she's using it for bills.. and is being a bitch saying it smy fault it got hit anyway... HOW THE FUCK IS IT MY FAULT YOU LOCKED YOURSELF OUT AND PARKED IN MY SPOT!?!?! I fuckin give up... I simply fucking give up. I have a place to live for 4 more days... no car... no onthing... so I don't even have anythign to cling on with and try with.

I've met..

in
I've met a wonderful girl.. her name is Kat she's 17... 4'10 105lbs (she's a tiny one...)... She's awesome... intellectual... good looking... we talked for about... 5 hours solid tonight... She's... me... heh its great... She lives down the road in avon to... Well... she's me before my brain gave out on me... before my memory became muddled... before I burnt out... I feel bad though... she didn't get a lot of homework done because we were talking... heh... oh well... off to bed early tonight... 3hours early... Ciao.

I wish..

in
I wish they would tell me something about my baby... they haven't told me shit... and I just called... and gave them the claim number... and the insurance said they'd get some body to come look at the car... this weekend... UM HELLO YOU FUCKING TOWED THE CAR YESTERDAY YOU DUMB FUCKS!! So we tell them this and they are like oh ok... so we call the place that towed it and they can't tell us anything cause they are with a claims adjuster... And they said its probably totalled... because the hood is fucked up they said and stuff... Um sorry no... there wasn't a damn thing wrong with the hood... but if you want to total her go ahead... just gimme what I paid for it... It's gonna suck... they are gonna try to give me 1600$ prolly cause thats blue book... when I paid 2000$ for it and did 1000$ worth of work to it... and they better let me take my fucking radio out since it was one of my ONLY christmas presents... I'm not gonna sign the car over to the fuckers till I get my radio out... even if I have to go take it off their property at night.

I need.

in
I need a car now more than ever... so 11 days before my 18th birthday mom totals it by backing into it... when she knew it was there... 10 days before my 18th birthday I sit here... listening to how everyone has had fun the past two days... and life has had a fakeness to it these past two days... simply because I know I have no car... which means I have no life... which means I have no way of seeing my few friends... *sighs* I keep giving life all these chances... I keep trying... and instead of getting better... like it should... it keeps getting worse... the harder I try... the worse it gets... its fucking bullshit... its utter fucking bullshit. *sighs* what the fuck ever.

This job blows..

in
This job blows... but I found something awesome that I'm gonna do... http://jobcorps.doleta.gov/ . The closest one is at Addebury... so I'll have to drive 30 miles a day... but its ok... once I get a running car... because what they do is they take high school drop outs inbetween 16 and 23... they get you your diploma or ged... train you in a union or non union job skill of your choice... and then pay you when you complete their thing... and get you your first job. FOR FREE because its a government program.

FUck this shit fuck it all.

in
So every year on march 11th I get to remember that I lost dad... now every march 12th I get to remember that I lost my best car I ever had... mom knew it was behind her truck... so she backs up into it doin about 20 today leavin for work... I start it and gas pours out of it faster than it does out of a faucet... the whole front end is smashed up... I have a fuckin headlight danglin almost to the ground... and she didn't even bother to tell me when it happened... she waits till she calls at 11 "oh yeah, by the way, I backed into your car on the way to work... you should go check it" god damnit... god fucking damnit... my life really can't get any worse now... it can't... not one fucking bit can it... this is fucking bullshit.... I swear to god... if anything else bad does happen... whoever or whatever cuased it... is going to feel my full wrath... and suffer before it or they is utterly fucking destroyed.... GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

This is...

in
This is mother fucking bullshit... today is dad's aniversary... I"m at devins having some fun... actually having a lot of fun... no... a whole lot of fun... then my mom calls... she locked herself... and cussed me out some... hung up on me... called back... told me to come let her in... called back said not to... called back told me to let her in... I go out to start my car and it won't... I kick it some... get it started... she calls asks when i'm leaving... I was trying to fuckign leave... I prolly looked like an ass to Vanessa (and I still didn't get her a book list... which I need to do... I'll have to email it to devin to give to her next time he see's her online or something) and devin and skooba and jake... because I was about to fucking break everything in site... so I fucking get on 465... and half way up the on ramp... I see that there are still emergency crews and traffic backed up... so about 10 minutes later I get passed all the emergency crews... there was like a billion car pilup... one truck lost 3 big pipes... tipped a tanker... a pickup slammed up under a flatbed... person was stuck in the vehicle and dead because they had blankets draped over the trcuk.. there were a good half dozen cars without axels... a good 20 police cars... several ambulances still coming and going 2 hours after it happened... and lots of emergency response teams there... still... 2hours after it happened... so I get by all of that... then I get home... AND THE BITCH ISN"T FUCKIGN HERE! I try to have a good day... on the one day I need it... and the bitch goes and ruins it for me... I'm sick of it... I'm fucking god damn sick of it... I hate life... I fuckign hate it... I was enjoying myself tonight more than ever before then all this shit... so I try to cal devin and he's gone already... blah... fuck it... fuck it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1