in
Into the dark I do wander,
The thought of death I do ponder.
In my sight there is a victim,
Closer and closer I do advance to him.
Upon him my eyes are fixed,
Yet, inside of me feelings are mixed.
Shall his blood be spilled?
Will my task be fulfilled?
A sudden move I do make,
A false step I do take.
Startled, he does turn to see,
His eyes do fall upon me.
I must act, there's no time to think,
Upon the dirt does appear a pattern drawn in red ink.
In that pattern I do see,
The eternal hell intended for me.

(no subject)

in
Into the dark I do wander,
The thought of death I do ponder.
In my sight there is a victim,
Closer and closer I do advance to him.
Upon him my eyes are fixed,
Yet, inside of me feelings are mixed.
Shall his blood be spilled?
Will my task be fulfilled?
A sudden move I do make,
A false step I do take.
Startled, he does turn to see,
His eyes do fall upon me.
I must act, there's no time to think,
Upon the dirt does appear a pattern drawn in red ink.
In that pattern I do see,
The eternal hell intended for me.

(no subject)

in
Ok. Tonight sucked for the most part. The most part being where I had to fucking walk around the 4-h fair in sandles and shorts. I have more mud on me than mud restlers. Also the part where I spent like 7 dollars to get some damned stuffed animal so I could fucking have more trash in my car. I do believe no one cares about me. Don't ask why. It's because the way EVERYONE treats me.
in
Ok. Tonight sucked for the most part. The most part being where I had to fucking walk around the 4-h fair in sandles and shorts. I have more mud on me than mud restlers. Also the part where I spent like 7 dollars to get some damned stuffed animal so I could fucking have more trash in my car. I do believe no one cares about me. Don't ask why. It's because the way EVERYONE treats me.
in
Here I am sitting here... I know devin gets back to day. That gives me something to look forward to. I'm bored out of my skull... I've come to find out that no one realy cares about me. They just like using me. I foud this out with Nikki now. I really only have a handful of people that don't care about my money. I hope everyone is hapy in the relationships they are in... and for the people that aren' I hope you find one and get happy. I can only wish that for myself. I can not be loved... because all people see is money and someone who's fucking mind can be played with. This is why I can't wait till I get down to the condo. No one knows me there accept for a few friends. It will be great seeing them again and hanging out with them. I haven't seen them in a year and some I haven't seen in two years. We still keep in contact but I really want to see them. I think humans were created as a big experiment to see how much a species can suffer. Or if not that I think I was created to see how much someone can be mentally assaulted. I think its kinda funny though that since Laura and I are no longer on good terms that no one talks to me. If you all want to be that way fine. I understand. I mean christ I had to move from speedway because this same shit happened. I guess I can move back to speedway or move in with my mom's bf and goto plainfield. So I can try starting over again and maybe make a few friends that won't be a bunch of backstabbers... and maybe... just maybe... they will give a damn about my feelings. Most of you probably stopped reading this near the top. Well good for you. This is my journal say what I want. I leave you all this... I thank each and everyone of you who has fucked with my emotions... Why do you have to do it? Just tell me why? One good reason... thats all I want.

(no subject)

in
Here I am sitting here... I know devin gets back to day. That gives me something to look forward to. I'm bored out of my skull... I've come to find out that no one realy cares about me. They just like using me. I foud this out with Nikki now. I really only have a handful of people that don't care about my money. I hope everyone is hapy in the relationships they are in... and for the people that aren' I hope you find one and get happy. I can only wish that for myself. I can not be loved... because all people see is money and someone who's fucking mind can be played with. This is why I can't wait till I get down to the condo. No one knows me there accept for a few friends. It will be great seeing them again and hanging out with them. I haven't seen them in a year and some I haven't seen in two years. We still keep in contact but I really want to see them. I think humans were created as a big experiment to see how much a species can suffer. Or if not that I think I was created to see how much someone can be mentally assaulted. I think its kinda funny though that since Laura and I are no longer on good terms that no one talks to me. If you all want to be that way fine. I understand. I mean christ I had to move from speedway because this same shit happened. I guess I can move back to speedway or move in with my mom's bf and goto plainfield. So I can try starting over again and maybe make a few friends that won't be a bunch of backstabbers... and maybe... just maybe... they will give a damn about my feelings. Most of you probably stopped reading this near the top. Well good for you. This is my journal say what I want. I leave you all this... I thank each and everyone of you who has fucked with my emotions... Why do you have to do it? Just tell me why? One good reason... thats all I want.

(no subject)

in
Ok. A few more days till I leave. I'm actually looking forward to going again this year. I just need to escape every so often. I'm still gonna miss everyone when I leave but Its not like I"m staying away forever (although most of you wouldn't mind if I just dissapeared). I hope everyone has fun while I"m gone. I thank Cass and Jess for coming over yesterday and saying hi. That was sweet and kind. No one ever shows up here unless they wan't to borrow money or stay. Peace
in
Ok. A few more days till I leave. I'm actually looking forward to going again this year. I just need to escape every so often. I'm still gonna miss everyone when I leave but Its not like I"m staying away forever (although most of you wouldn't mind if I just dissapeared). I hope everyone has fun while I"m gone. I thank Cass and Jess for coming over yesterday and saying hi. That was sweet and kind. No one ever shows up here unless they wan't to borrow money or stay. Peace
in
see this... this is my BOOMstick... its a 12 guage double barrel remington... S-mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department.Thats right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan, retails for about 109.95... has walnut stock, cobalt blue steal and a hair trigger. Thats right... shop SMART shop s-mart

(no subject)

in
Ok. I'm sitting here... waiting for it to be 3... so I can go see nikki. I just took devin home a few minutes ago and am sitting here bored. He is gonna be gone till wednesday... and I leave friday morning at 4:45 am... so I'm not gonna really get to chill with him till I get back. Thats rather depressing. I wish someone could have been going with me this year. It gats rather boring when I go down with just mom. I hate it... I love it when I take someone. Oh well... I'll live I guess...
in
Ok. I'm sitting here... waiting for it to be 3... so I can go see nikki. I just took devin home a few minutes ago and am sitting here bored. He is gonna be gone till wednesday... and I leave friday morning at 4:45 am... so I'm not gonna really get to chill with him till I get back. Thats rather depressing. I wish someone could have been going with me this year. It gats rather boring when I go down with just mom. I hate it... I love it when I take someone. Oh well... I'll live I guess...
in
ok... I leave like thursday night or friday morning... friday morning I believe... I'll be gone for about 5 or 6 days. During this period I will have more body modification done almost guarenteed and have me some fun. I will be having computer withdraws badly though most likely. That shall be made up for though. Hope everyone has fun whilst I'm gone.