Here I am sitting here... I know devin gets back to day. That gives me something to look forward to. I'm bored out of my skull... I've come to find out that no one realy cares about me. They just like using me. I foud this out with Nikki now. I really only have a handful of people that don't care about my money. I hope everyone is hapy in the relationships they are in... and for the people that aren' I hope you find one and get happy. I can only wish that for myself. I can not be loved... because all people see is money and someone who's fucking mind can be played with. This is why I can't wait till I get down to the condo. No one knows me there accept for a few friends. It will be great seeing them again and hanging out with them. I haven't seen them in a year and some I haven't seen in two years. We still keep in contact but I really want to see them. I think humans were created as a big experiment to see how much a species can suffer. Or if not that I think I was created to see how much someone can be mentally assaulted. I think its kinda funny though that since Laura and I are no longer on good terms that no one talks to me. If you all want to be that way fine. I understand. I mean christ I had to move from speedway because this same shit happened. I guess I can move back to speedway or move in with my mom's bf and goto plainfield. So I can try starting over again and maybe make a few friends that won't be a bunch of backstabbers... and maybe... just maybe... they will give a damn about my feelings. Most of you probably stopped reading this near the top. Well good for you. This is my journal say what I want. I leave you all this... I thank each and everyone of you who has fucked with my emotions... Why do you have to do it? Just tell me why? One good reason... thats all I want.