(no subject)

Grandpa Joe:
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
[Spoken]
It's ours, Charlie!
[Sung]
I've got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury
'Cause I'd have said:
Charlie:
It couldn't be done
Grandpa Joe:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
Grandpa Joe and Charlie:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
Grandpa Joe:
[Spoken]
Good morning, look at the sun!
Grandpa Joe and Charlie:
[Sung]
'Cause I'd have said,
It couldn't be done
Grandpa Joe:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
Grandpa Joe and Charlie:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day

NO!!! I'll be without blue m&m's for a while!!

In a marketing gimmick reminiscent of the gold ticket in "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," M&M's will run a contest in 2004 which will offer six grand prizes and for a brief period strip the world famous candy of its color.
M&M's plans to phase out color in 2004 - the "official" announcement will be made on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" on ABC - in what the company is calling the biggest transformation in its 60 year history. M&M's spokesman Jeffrey Moran said the New Year's Eve announcement is timed to "turn over a new leaf and start a new phase."

TRUE STORY

"Are you kidding" the girl behind the teller window said to a man standing on the other side of the glass who had handed her an envelope that said ROBBERY.... Here's what made the teller balk: The scalp around the robbers cap was bald and liver-spotted; the body under his shirt was thin and stooped. ONe of the other tellers would tell the police he looked to be in his seeventies or eighties; the teller he robbed thought he was about 90. They were off by at least a decade; Roundtree, known as Red to almost everyone who knows him, was born in 1911- just one year after Bonnie and two years after Clyde. He was married at 20, a millionaire at 50, bankrupt at 60, widowed at 70; and only then, when most men are luxuriating in the relief of their retirement, did Red Roundtree begin his second career. He began robbing banks in his eighties, he was finishing up a three-year sentence in a federal prison in Floriday when he was 90, and when he walked out of the bank in Abilene with an envelope full of cash and the cops already alerted, he was a full 91 years old, and he wasn't kidding. Not at all. JL Hunter Roundtree doesn't see the harm in his crimes; "Okate, it's stealing," he says, "But it's FUN stealing"
reading this in gq right now... kinda awesome...

(no subject)

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why
I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice
Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win
And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine
She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With and uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am
Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
Don't You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
Don't You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's my uptown girl

(no subject)

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why
I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice
Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win
And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine
She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With and uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am
Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
Don't You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
Don't You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's my uptown girl

mwahahah

School shooting calculator.
Here's how you did:
You have a 50% chance of shooting up your school.
You will kill:
32 teachers
28 students
12 police officers
You will wound 140 others.
It will happen like this:
You will go to your first lesson and sneak out early. You and your friends will weld every door shut, set off the fire alarm and smoke bomb the halls. Many alarmed children and teachers will come running into the dense smoke. You will pull out your rocket launcher and begin firing into the crowd, shooting at everyone. There will be lots of screaming and blood. Shortly after, the police will arrive and attempt to take you out, but not until you've killed a decent amount of students and faculty. You will then shoot your friends and escape elaborately.
You came from http://www.toaster-strudel.net/fisch/squiz.html

Scott Patrick

To the coward driver who shot and killed Trooper Scott Patrick... you coward piece of shit... shooting a state police officer to death because he stopped to help you because your vehicle was disabled/stranded and he just wanted to help you out. When your wounds heal from the bullets you recieved right back at you, I hope you aren't given the death penalty, but given life in prison... so you can spend the rest of your life rotting away, never tasting freedom again for as long as you shall live.
To Scott Patrick's family, I am terribly sorry for your loss, it is not easy for any of us to lose a Brother or Sister to some heartless criminal.
To my father, Mark Mercer, Dad... welcome Scott into heaven you reach out to him and I shall reach out to his family. May he find all of his fellow fallen troopers in heaven. And Merry Christmas, this makes 6 Christmases without you now.

I just won...

I just won 100$ on cyberscholar... its this thing that is on our toolkit at work... well you go to the website... and all these companies ( Adobe, AMD, AOL, CANNON, EMACHINES, EPSON, FutureDial, InFocus, Intuit, Maxtor, Motorola, Netgear, Nintendo, Nvidia, Roxio, Samsung, SanDisk, and Sony)... and anyway... I won one of the 100$ weekly give aways that aol does... woo hoo go me!!!

I just won...

I just won 100$ on cyberscholar... its this thing that is on our toolkit at work... well you go to the website... and all these companies ( Adobe, AMD, AOL, CANNON, EMACHINES, EPSON, FutureDial, InFocus, Intuit, Maxtor, Motorola, Netgear, Nintendo, Nvidia, Roxio, Samsung, SanDisk, and Sony)... and anyway... I won one of the 100$ weekly give aways that aol does... woo hoo go me!!!

hahah all the crazy people were right

The strength of the Earth's magnetic field has decreased 10 percent over the past 150 years, raising the remote possibility that it may collapse and later reverse, flipping the planet's poles for the first time in nearly a million years, scientists said.
At that rate of decline, the field could vanish altogether in 1,500 to 2,000 years, said Jeremy Bloxham of Harvard University.
Hundreds of years could pass before a flip-flopped field returned to where it was 780,000 years ago. But scientists at a meeting of the American Geophysical Union cautioned that scenario is an unlikely one.
"The chances are it will not," Bloxham said Thursday. "Reversals are a rare event."
Instead, the weakening, measured since 1845, could represent little more than an "excursion," or lull, which can last for hundreds of years, said John Tarduno of the University of Rochester.
Such a lull could still have significant effects, especially in regions where the weakening is most pronounced.
Over the southern Atlantic Ocean, a continued weakening of the magnetic field has diminished the shielding effect it has locally in protecting the Earth from the natural radiation that bombards our planet from space, scientists said.
As a result, satellites in low-Earth orbit are left vulnerable to that radiation as they pass over the region, known as the South Atlantic anomaly.
Among the satellites that have fallen prey to the harmful effects was a Danish satellite designed, ironically, to measure the Earth's magnetic field, Bloxham said.
The weakening -- if coupled with a subsequently large influx of radiation in the form of protons streaming from the sun -- can also affect the chemistry of the atmosphere, said Charles Jackman of NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center.
That can lead to significant but temporary losses of atmospheric ozone, he said