(no subject)

Guess what... I was having fun... then mom and her drunk ass scary ass boyfriend show up... yell at ashlie and brandy... and now I just want to curl up and fucking die... It's bullshit. It really is... So if I'm dead come tomorrow I"m sorry. Brandy... one of the other people I really care about is you...Thats why I wouldn't say.

Guess what... I was having fun... then mom and her drunk ass scary ass boyfriend show up... yell at ashlie and brandy... and now I just want to curl up and fucking die... It's bullshit. It really is... So if I'm dead come tomorrow I"m sorry. Brandy... one of the other people I really care about is you...Thats why I wouldn't say.

(no subject)

Today is Dad's Birthday. I almost forgot. I feel so bad. 1 month and 18 days till his anniversary. I can't believe I almost forgot about his birthday. I just feel so bad. Dad... I'm sorry. Anyway. I wish I wasn't alive... I really do. I just have no will left in me to go on. I don't wanna kill myself or anything... I just kinda wish I didn't exist... I'm not bitter with life. I just feel I have no reason to be here. Anyway... I'm gonna go... Peace and Good Nite everyone.

Today is Dad's Birthday. I almost forgot. I feel so bad. 1 month and 18 days till his anniversary. I can't believe I almost forgot about his birthday. I just feel so bad. Dad... I'm sorry. Anyway. I wish I wasn't alive... I really do. I just have no will left in me to go on. I don't wanna kill myself or anything... I just kinda wish I didn't exist... I'm not bitter with life. I just feel I have no reason to be here. Anyway... I'm gonna go... Peace and Good Nite everyone.

Hello everyone. I'm waitin for devin to call... He should be callin in about 10 minutes. Listening to my morning routine of songs and watching their vids... Safety Dance, What I've Always Wanted, Brackish, Charlotte, and Aeroplane. Gettin in the mood for the day. I wish it was tomorrow. It really needs to be friday so I can go see a walk to remember. I hope I get a job at Arby's. Anthony said he would try his hardest. I put in an application last nite. I'm going to start bugging them about hiring me tomorrow. Well I should probably get my boots on and get the trash out. Peace.

(no subject)

Hello everyone. I'm waitin for devin to call... He should be callin in about 10 minutes. Listening to my morning routine of songs and watching their vids... Safety Dance, What I've Always Wanted, Brackish, Charlotte, and Aeroplane. Gettin in the mood for the day. I wish it was tomorrow. It really needs to be friday so I can go see a walk to remember. I hope I get a job at Arby's. Anthony said he would try his hardest. I put in an application last nite. I'm going to start bugging them about hiring me tomorrow. Well I should probably get my boots on and get the trash out. Peace.

JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***DRUMROLL*** Madison came over right before mom got home... she was all sad and upset and gave me back these cheap ass rings I stole from walmart and gave to her... I think that means that she is giving up!!! YEE HA!!!! Anyway... Nothing else to say...

(no subject)

JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***DRUMROLL*** Madison came over right before mom got home... she was all sad and upset and gave me back these cheap ass rings I stole from walmart and gave to her... I think that means that she is giving up!!! YEE HA!!!! Anyway... Nothing else to say...

(no subject)

I'm bored... Devin should be calling any second... then we can go to school... and I"ll have something to do... um... I'm reinstalling everquest finally... time to become hopleslly adicted again... anyway... ciao... I'll do a better update after school

I'm bored... Devin should be calling any second... then we can go to school... and I"ll have something to do... um... I'm reinstalling everquest finally... time to become hopleslly adicted again... anyway... ciao... I'll do a better update after school

Madison just isn't getting the picture... No matter how mean I am to her... no matter how much I avoid her... No matter how much I ignore her... she just doesn't the picture. She's a great person... but not just the person for me. She feels the same way about me that I did about Laura... Laura... I know how you felt with me constantly bugging you... and all I can say is I'm so sorry I made you go through that... its hell... I can't hurt Madison and tell her. I can't hurt her and keep being like this to her either... I dunno... I'll figure out some way to deal with it... Anyway... Peace....

(no subject)

Madison just isn't getting the picture... No matter how mean I am to her... no matter how much I avoid her... No matter how much I ignore her... she just doesn't the picture. She's a great person... but not just the person for me. She feels the same way about me that I did about Laura... Laura... I know how you felt with me constantly bugging you... and all I can say is I'm so sorry I made you go through that... its hell... I can't hurt Madison and tell her. I can't hurt her and keep being like this to her either... I dunno... I'll figure out some way to deal with it... Anyway... Peace....

(no subject)

OK... um I'm bored. Waiting for Dev-0 to call... he won't be calling for a while still. Um. I'm gonna have a little lump of make up work since I decided not to go to school for 2 days. I need to get a job... that way I can take my GED... then if I decide not to go to school anymore it's cool because they can't get me for truancy since I'd already have a diploma equivelant. Well. I don't really have much to say or anything. So... Peace.

OK... um I'm bored. Waiting for Dev-0 to call... he won't be calling for a while still. Um. I'm gonna have a little lump of make up work since I decided not to go to school for 2 days. I need to get a job... that way I can take my GED... then if I decide not to go to school anymore it's cool because they can't get me for truancy since I'd already have a diploma equivelant. Well. I don't really have much to say or anything. So... Peace.

(no subject)

Um. Life sucks... seeing some things at the mall today really made me sad. Oh well... I don't care anymore. I just don't. I'm never gonna be happy with myself... or with anyone... so it doesn't matter. I'll just stop dreaming and realize that. Every time I ever care about someone... they don't care about me that way... or they don't even know I exist... oh well... peace and shit.

Um. Life sucks... seeing some things at the mall today really made me sad. Oh well... I don't care anymore. I just don't. I'm never gonna be happy with myself... or with anyone... so it doesn't matter. I'll just stop dreaming and realize that. Every time I ever care about someone... they don't care about me that way... or they don't even know I exist... oh well... peace and shit.

(no subject)

Um ok. Last nite was wierd. Um... I guess I"m chillin by myself all weekend. I guess thats cool. I hope everyone has fun doin whatever this weekend. I'm running mandrake now. Its pissin me off but its better than windows so its all cool. Madison is giving me a guilt trip bullshit sob story as I type this. She is like "my dad and brother want me to bring you to New York so they can meet you... but I haven't told them we broke up and I don't wanna hurt their feeligns" Not to mention the fact that she keeps beggin me to go back out with her. I really don't care for her. Um... I hope everyone has a good evening. Peace... if you wanna do something I'll be here... alone... bored off my ass...

Um ok. Last nite was wierd. Um... I guess I"m chillin by myself all weekend. I guess thats cool. I hope everyone has fun doin whatever this weekend. I'm running mandrake now. Its pissin me off but its better than windows so its all cool. Madison is giving me a guilt trip bullshit sob story as I type this. She is like "my dad and brother want me to bring you to New York so they can meet you... but I haven't told them we broke up and I don't wanna hurt their feeligns" Not to mention the fact that she keeps beggin me to go back out with her. I really don't care for her. Um... I hope everyone has a good evening. Peace... if you wanna do something I'll be here... alone... bored off my ass...

Oi allo! Whats up everyone? Um... I'm sitll tryin to get a job... trying to keep myself from killing mom. Um... Madison is obsessed with me... not cool. I'm really starting to hate life a lot... Like a lot more than ever before. Madison is harassing me to go back out with her. I don't want to... thats why I broke up with her. Um... she won't ever take her hands off me... she is always trying to hold my hand, everyday in fourth period she always is all over me and huggine me and resting her head on my shoulder. That ain't fuckin kewl... we don't go out... I guess she doesn't get the picture. She is still all fuckin head over heals about bob-0... so why doesn't she bug him not me. The people I really love I'll never have anything with accept for a friendship. I can deal with that though. Wolf is strong. Wolf can take it. Anyway... Peace everyone... I love you Laura... I love you Ashlie... and I love you Pascifist.

(no subject)

Oi allo! Whats up everyone? Um... I'm sitll tryin to get a job... trying to keep myself from killing mom. Um... Madison is obsessed with me... not cool. I'm really starting to hate life a lot... Like a lot more than ever before. Madison is harassing me to go back out with her. I don't want to... thats why I broke up with her. Um... she won't ever take her hands off me... she is always trying to hold my hand, everyday in fourth period she always is all over me and huggine me and resting her head on my shoulder. That ain't fuckin kewl... we don't go out... I guess she doesn't get the picture. She is still all fuckin head over heals about bob-0... so why doesn't she bug him not me. The people I really love I'll never have anything with accept for a friendship. I can deal with that though. Wolf is strong. Wolf can take it. Anyway... Peace everyone... I love you Laura... I love you Ashlie... and I love you Pascifist.