in
My live journal days are over. I've lost the will to write. I might update like once a month tops... but I strongly even doubt that. I think its time for me to start burrying my nose in my school work and books and forget about "fun". I've realized to much in my life these past week. I don't have to many friends... I'm starting to get stupid... and most of all I don't have anyone that I can love and be loved back by. So I'm just gonna become the hermit my dad always called me... when I moved here I actually started to talk to people and stuff... and have some fun... but it's just not for me... It just tortures me. Sorry if I stop hanging out with everyone. It just hurts me to much to see how happy people are together... Well its about time to go do soem homework or something. Bye.

(no subject)

in
My live journal days are over. I've lost the will to write. I might update like once a month tops... but I strongly even doubt that. I think its time for me to start burrying my nose in my school work and books and forget about "fun". I've realized to much in my life these past week. I don't have to many friends... I'm starting to get stupid... and most of all I don't have anyone that I can love and be loved back by. So I'm just gonna become the hermit my dad always called me... when I moved here I actually started to talk to people and stuff... and have some fun... but it's just not for me... It just tortures me. Sorry if I stop hanging out with everyone. It just hurts me to much to see how happy people are together... Well its about time to go do soem homework or something. Bye.
in
If mom commits me today this could be my last post. If she commits me then its going to fuck up everything. It will keep me from getting in the army.(sorry tristan... the army is all I have...and if you stop talking to me because of me enlisting then I guess your not a real friend). IF she commits me the army won't take me... The army is my family... my only family. Its the only thing I"m ever going to have. It's the onlything thats gonna care about me. Without it then I have nothing to do wit hmy life. So if mom fuckin puts me in a damn loony center then bye bye world. I'll break my neck on the way there or once I get there. I hope she chickens out and doesn't. I really hope she doesn't have the guts to do it. If she does though... this will be the last day any of you see me alive. Lets just hope she isn't brave enough to do it.

(no subject)

in
If mom commits me today this could be my last post. If she commits me then its going to fuck up everything. It will keep me from getting in the army.(sorry tristan... the army is all I have...and if you stop talking to me because of me enlisting then I guess your not a real friend). IF she commits me the army won't take me... The army is my family... my only family. Its the only thing I"m ever going to have. It's the onlything thats gonna care about me. Without it then I have nothing to do wit hmy life. So if mom fuckin puts me in a damn loony center then bye bye world. I'll break my neck on the way there or once I get there. I hope she chickens out and doesn't. I really hope she doesn't have the guts to do it. If she does though... this will be the last day any of you see me alive. Lets just hope she isn't brave enough to do it.

(no subject)

in
I'm bored... I sat around all day saturday and today by myself because devin's parents suck... Friday I felt like shit because how much caffeine I had in my system... Life is shitty right now... No one wants me around them. Laura... tell me when you want me to bring the road thingy over to your house... I can't keep it here much longer... cause mom told me not to go steal one and if she sees it i'm dead. Being dead wouldn't be to bad of a thing though... so I might just go set it in her room so she does see it and does kill me. I'm not that lucky though.
in
I'm bored... I sat around all day saturday and today by myself because devin's parents suck... Friday I felt like shit because how much caffeine I had in my system... Life is shitty right now... No one wants me around them. Laura... tell me when you want me to bring the road thingy over to your house... I can't keep it here much longer... cause mom told me not to go steal one and if she sees it i'm dead. Being dead wouldn't be to bad of a thing though... so I might just go set it in her room so she does see it and does kill me. I'm not that lucky though.

(no subject)

in
Nikki is in jail again... damnit... it's like some divine sign that I"m not supposed to have a girlfriend... I loved laura with all my heart and still do... yet she doesn't love me any more than a friend... I have slight feelings for nikki and she is always in and out of the stress center, juvenial, and actually jail. I dunno... I'm just gonna give up I guess... I had fun tonight I gues though... since dev0 is ungrounded now... we went to the mall and had some fun... like before we left we heard Sorry Miss Jackson when we were in Nirvana... and we saw some people we haven't seen in a while... and we saw the coolest guy that has ever walked the earth.
in
Nikki is in jail again... damnit... it's like some divine sign that I"m not supposed to have a girlfriend... I loved laura with all my heart and still do... yet she doesn't love me any more than a friend... I have slight feelings for nikki and she is always in and out of the stress center, juvenial, and actually jail. I dunno... I'm just gonna give up I guess... I had fun tonight I gues though... since dev0 is ungrounded now... we went to the mall and had some fun... like before we left we heard Sorry Miss Jackson when we were in Nirvana... and we saw some people we haven't seen in a while... and we saw the coolest guy that has ever walked the earth.

(no subject)

in
I'm out of ben davis for sure... Friday is my last day. I got some get classes put in its place... I'm gonna have some fun now... being able to come in in the mornings and actually see my friends... Nikki and I go out again... I don't know if this is good or bad... Its probably a little bit of both... anyway... I'm glad that there have been no more serious terrorist attacks. I'm glad that Indianapolis has had nothing bad happen. I hope Laura gets better... I hate seeing her sick. I hope dev-0 and brandi stop fighting. Peace.
in
I'm out of ben davis for sure... Friday is my last day. I got some get classes put in its place... I'm gonna have some fun now... being able to come in in the mornings and actually see my friends... Nikki and I go out again... I don't know if this is good or bad... Its probably a little bit of both... anyway... I'm glad that there have been no more serious terrorist attacks. I'm glad that Indianapolis has had nothing bad happen. I hope Laura gets better... I hate seeing her sick. I hope dev-0 and brandi stop fighting. Peace.
in
Money, yes, it is the new religion. And the moguls of the Money Monarchy have become the priests and popes of this irrational age of corporate planetary domination and destruction. Yes, world bankers and trans-national corporate executives are the true religious leaders. Why? Because the highest, most esteemed calling is high finance. Whole nations are caught up in it. It has become the wishful will of the world and money, the worshipped god. The Wall Street Journal is the Bible, the bank is the cathedral and the people are the parish and they will perish. They will perish because this religion of money seduces people into schemes and dreams of riches and doing in anyone who might get in the way

(no subject)

in
Money, yes, it is the new religion. And the moguls of the Money Monarchy have become the priests and popes of this irrational age of corporate planetary domination and destruction. Yes, world bankers and trans-national corporate executives are the true religious leaders. Why? Because the highest, most esteemed calling is high finance. Whole nations are caught up in it. It has become the wishful will of the world and money, the worshipped god. The Wall Street Journal is the Bible, the bank is the cathedral and the people are the parish and they will perish. They will perish because this religion of money seduces people into schemes and dreams of riches and doing in anyone who might get in the way

(no subject)

in
I'm worried... I haven't heard from my friend tristan since he went to the doctor to find out if he had cancer or not... If they diagnosed him with cancer he probably tried to kill himself... I'm gonna hope that if he did try that thats all he did... was try... and not succeed. He is like a dad to me... He helped me through losing dad... and now if he gets cancer I"m gonna feel like its my fault... All I fucking wan't is someone to have as a dad... Someone to do things with that sons and dads do together... thats all I want... and I can't have it... oh well... Devo and Brandy had a little fight yesterday... they made up like always... It was sad because yesterday was their aniversary to. Um... I'm sitting here talking to Janelle... realizing how pitiful my life is... I go to school... come home... get on the computer... go to sleep... wake up... and start the process all over again. Thats rather very sad. Oh well... I felt bad tagging along with Devo and Brandy this weekend... I feel like I"m just bothering them when they ask me to tag along... and besides when they are being boyfriend and girlfriend I just kinda have to sit there... and watch... and get sad... because I have no one to share my life with... I don't even have any serious friends anymore... just devo... and he's grounded... and he only gets to spend time with Brandy. Oh well... I have my computer... thats all I really need... It gets me through each day... all though lately I've been thinking about killing myself to much... I've even started to think of what to write to all my "friends". I have yet to actually start to write any of it down yet... and when I actually try to kill myself I cop out... Hopefully I never succeed... I know it wouldn't do anything but hurt a few people and maybe cause 1 or 2 people to try and kill themselves. Oh well... I'll stop going on and on now.
Bye for now...
Peace.
-AxisMundi
in
I'm worried... I haven't heard from my friend tristan since he went to the doctor to find out if he had cancer or not... If they diagnosed him with cancer he probably tried to kill himself... I'm gonna hope that if he did try that thats all he did... was try... and not succeed. He is like a dad to me... He helped me through losing dad... and now if he gets cancer I"m gonna feel like its my fault... All I fucking wan't is someone to have as a dad... Someone to do things with that sons and dads do together... thats all I want... and I can't have it... oh well... Devo and Brandy had a little fight yesterday... they made up like always... It was sad because yesterday was their aniversary to. Um... I'm sitting here talking to Janelle... realizing how pitiful my life is... I go to school... come home... get on the computer... go to sleep... wake up... and start the process all over again. Thats rather very sad. Oh well... I felt bad tagging along with Devo and Brandy this weekend... I feel like I"m just bothering them when they ask me to tag along... and besides when they are being boyfriend and girlfriend I just kinda have to sit there... and watch... and get sad... because I have no one to share my life with... I don't even have any serious friends anymore... just devo... and he's grounded... and he only gets to spend time with Brandy. Oh well... I have my computer... thats all I really need... It gets me through each day... all though lately I've been thinking about killing myself to much... I've even started to think of what to write to all my "friends". I have yet to actually start to write any of it down yet... and when I actually try to kill myself I cop out... Hopefully I never succeed... I know it wouldn't do anything but hurt a few people and maybe cause 1 or 2 people to try and kill themselves. Oh well... I'll stop going on and on now.
Bye for now...
Peace.

-AxisMundi
in
I'm sad again I guess... maybe because I was told by everyone that they don't want me around them anymore... I didn't think bob would ever say that to me... I didn't think Benya Benya would have either.... I expected it from Station however... Oh well... I do'nt really need friends anymore... I have to lose my emotions anyway... You can't be a good soldier if you have emotions.