in
Hmm, I'm just sittin here... kinda bored... kinda lonely... tomorrow is samhain and I don't have anything planned, prolly just do a spur of the moment thing like a did for beltane. Specially since I have large and older tree brothers here, where at beltane, I had to use baby tree brothers in my little dealio... um... yeah... well peace I guess...

*sighs*

in
It's almost been a year since I fucked Nikki over. *cries* I wish I wouldn't have done that... I really wish I wouldn't have... oh well... I'm not trying to sound suicidal, because I'm not... but if I don't seem like me anymore its cause I dont' have anything else to give or to fight with... I have no reason to live... so I'm just gonna hope things get better soon... I've given every last ounce I had to give... now its time for life to give back to me... cause I just can't keep doin it. *Grumbles* well I guess I"m going to bed.

I quote k-lynn

in
I quote K-lynn... "I want someone that I can call my own... Someone that I can say that I love. I want a love that has no doubt in it from myslef or the other person... I want it pure, young, free, and full of hope and energy. I feel that I am missing out on something... I don't think love is tangible for me. I dunno... Blah... I just have had this feeling, this need for someone, for so long... it's eating me up. I get way too attached to quickly because I want this so badly... It suks... I am going to end up being hurt so much if I keep this shit up to where I will give up on my hope for love. I will just throw the idea out and that scares me. I don't want to give up on something I desire and miss so deeply. That's another thing... Well, nevermind... I miss being held... and I hate being lied to. I dunno... " She has pretty much wrapped all my bitching up in her october 8th post. so um.. DITTO.

um...

in
Um ok, so cheryl called my house, had her parents call my house... and they all told my mom I was suicidal and convinced her... so mom goes fuckin ape shit and starts callin everyone I know and calling everywhere I go... now she is all like I can't do stff anymore. I'm gonna fuckin start killing PEOPLE. *nods* So fuck all this stupid ass shit... now time to watch some cheers and be bored off my fuckin ass some more... ashlie and josh are about to shower... so I guess I'll play with the cat or something... I think I might actually just go home... but I think mom is there so fuck that shit... I dunno... I'm just bored as hell and josh keeps fuckin walkina round with his dick and ass hangin out... tryin to show um to me like I want to fucking look at them or something... maybe if he was a female and looked decent, then maybe I'd care. But not his ugly, hairy, smelly ass and dick. All I gotta say is "fuck almost everyone... cause almost everyone sucks" and um... "cheryl, what the hell is your problem? Thanks for removing every freedom I had from my life... now my psycho ass mom is gonna commit me prolly cause of shit you said... so what ever and just forget anything I've ever said to you... EVERYTHING"

Love...

in
I wish I could have love in my life... I try so hard... I've tried so much... I just need someone to share my life with god damnit... I don't just want someone... I bloody fucking need someone. *growls* I just don't know what to fuckin do... I've tried being myself... tried being other people... tried being what people wanted... I've tried being nothing, I've tried being everything... GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!