Online Dating

I messaged a woman on OkCupid. She replied then I replied back asking what she is looking for in a guy... this is her novel of a reply. 

Dear Future Partner...
This is a list of rules, well, because I am a list fanatic and crazy like that. As you should know or will come to find out, I like to have everything in its place so to speak. So, without further ado, here is my list. Please bare with me because darn it, I'm worth it!

Family / Children
* I'm ok if you have children from a previous relationship. Just treat them well.
* You have to love my children like they are your own flesh and blood. Favoritism is not an option.
* You have to be willing to spend time with my family and support me if I go off the deep with any one of them, right or wrong. And you can only tell me if I'm wrong when we are alone!.

* Let's talk Roses. DO NOT send them to me unless they are miniature and yellow or cream in color because those are the only ones I can tolerate, so to be on the safe side, never buy or send them to me. I don't like roses very much, they are overdone in my opinion.
* Now, what if you did want to send flowers? Well, I prefer potted plants but the occasional bouquet of fresh-cut flowers is acceptable. The more unique, the better. I like orchids and flowers that pop, multiple exotic colors that scream, "Look at me!" Please no carnations, that is so "junior high."
* My favorite flowers are the lilly and calla lillies... can't ever go wrong with those... and knowing they are my favorite is a bonus...

Jewelry/Other Expensive Gifts
* They don't impress me. I'd much rather have something that you put some thought into or did on a whim - like buy me a blackberry pie because that's my fave, or oh my gosh, send me on a scavenger hunt to find your butt!
* I don't like diamonds UNLESS I know 100% they did not come from or support the blood diamond trade. Too many people have died in man's quest for money over diamonds. Note, to date, I have not worn one, so I likely won't... But if you must shower me with diamonds, make sure you pick a reputable company with a good social identity.
* I love pearls. I like my birthstone. Not too flashy, but something small.
* NEVER get me a piece of jewelry that is a heart. Yuck, enough said!..
* Would I turn away a lavish gift, no, but why waste your money on a non-holiday when a simple note will do wonders?

Vacations, Getaways, and Dates
* Going to see the worlds largest rubber band ball or the worlds largest iron skillet is not my idea of a fun vacation. Maybe a weekend 'trip' and only if we had to kill some time while doing something else, but never a vacation!
* I prefer nature over man-made structures, so the grand canyon is a yes, mountains are a yes. But a huge ass dam that holds back millions of people from being flooded? Nope.
* Anywhere north is a plus! Changing of the leaves in Vermont, Maine, Rhode Island. Skiing in Colorado, Washington, Vermont... Backpacking up north... Alaska even.
* Avoid the South unless it is cooler. Then, if you must, take me to Charleston, SC or another historic town where I can enjoy the people and the folklore/history.
* Murder Mystery dinners, a play at the theater (Broadway or otherwise), Ballets, Symphony Orchestra events, Ballroom Dancing, and other 'girly' stuff is right up my alley.
* A football game, a baseball game, a girls basketball game, the roller derby are all interesting, so I am not against those. DO NOT TAKE me to a mens basketball game unless we get to meet the players. JKJK, I would go...
* Some man-made structures are tolerable, I mean if you wanted to take me around the world, the pyramids are pretty freaking cool. As is Stonehenge. But again, please, no dams, maybe a bridge long enough to drive over it! :)
* Bowling, ice skating, roller skating, concerts, movies --- all acceptable dates...

* Halloween ---- Dressing up as a 'power couple' is not only a turn on, but a requirement. Fred and Wilma Flinstone, Barney and Betty Rubble, Marge and Homer Simpson, a duo from Harry Potter, Mr. & Mrs. Loving, Romeo and Juliet, etc... You gotta be willing to go to the extreme and be outside your comfort zone to impress me. This has always been a dream of mine, and since I ain't getting any younger, I want what I want...
* Christmas ---- You have to be willing to participate in my cheesy activities, including but not limited to, homemade cocoa making, 12 days of christmas crafts, homemade gifts, volunteering to help the needy, etc.
* Thanksgiving --- Also must be willing to participate in my cheesy activities and want to be around my family and friends. Tall order, but if you are the right one, you can do it!

* You have to be willing to deal with my crazy and love every minute of it :) jkjk! or am I?
* I'm subject to flights of fancy, and while I am a very logical and realistic person, it would be nice to have a fellow daydreamer around... so someday we could search for Sasquatch, build a tree house, search for buried treasure, etc. But if you are serious, I welcome someone to bring back down to earth. Though occasionally, you gotta venture out and explore :)
* Never underestimate the power of a picnic.
* Dancing in public is not a sign of weakness, it's flattering.
* Singing to me is always encouraged. Even in public if the lyrics aren't degrading.
* Picking apples at an apple orchard is not cheesy!
* Taking a couples cooking class together is right up my alley...

So, what are my financial, education, spiritual, etc. requirements for a partner? Well, that is a separate list, and I will send it some other time.

BUT here is the real meat and potatoes of this whole list, which will continue to grow as I think of more things to add: you must be willing to do these things even 50 years down the road. Not just during the dating or honeymoon phase... but long term. Imma talkin' sitting in a rocking chair, you serenading me with the latest love song while sitting on a deck drinking martinis at the age of 80, watching grand kids and great grand kids playing Red Rover in our large back yard.

Or you pushing me in a tire swing for our 20th anniversary! Get it? Got it? You up to the challenge?