(no subject)

Laura if I hurt you I normally would say I was sorry... but this time I'm not going to. I love you... always have... since the first day I saw you... it grew as I got to know you... and all I did was show you... and all you did was push us farther apart. I stood by and watched many people hurt you... I gave you whatever you wanted. I lived each day in pain... watching us grow farther apart. I know what I did this time was right... I'm not going to apologize and beg for forgiveness... I lost to many nites sleep... cried to much... let it worry me and tear me up to much... I let this happen till I lost my humanity... I do not think of myself as human anymore. I have no emotion towards anything now. I feel no sorrow for what I do now... I still love you though... I will not let it hurt me anymore though, for nothing hurts me now. IF anyone has a fucking problem with this then voice it or hold your tounges like the fools you all are. Thank you... good day.
Laura if I hurt you I normally would say I was sorry... but this time I'm not going to. I love you... always have... since the first day I saw you... it grew as I got to know you... and all I did was show you... and all you did was push us farther apart. I stood by and watched many people hurt you... I gave you whatever you wanted. I lived each day in pain... watching us grow farther apart. I know what I did this time was right... I'm not going to apologize and beg for forgiveness... I lost to many nites sleep... cried to much... let it worry me and tear me up to much... I let this happen till I lost my humanity... I do not think of myself as human anymore. I have no emotion towards anything now. I feel no sorrow for what I do now... I still love you though... I will not let it hurt me anymore though, for nothing hurts me now. IF anyone has a fucking problem with this then voice it or hold your tounges like the fools you all are. Thank you... good day.
Today was bearable I guess... I had a bad headache all day... still do... did all day yesterday to... and the day before... I guess I'm a evil bad person... well according to Laura anyway... at least thats what she said 4th period after making me feel like shit by crying the ENTIRE period. *shrugs* Whatever... I don't care about anything anymore... not a damn thing... I want summer to get here... so I can just sleep... .sleep for like a month or two...

(no subject)

Today was bearable I guess... I had a bad headache all day... still do... did all day yesterday to... and the day before... I guess I'm a evil bad person... well according to Laura anyway... at least thats what she said 4th period after making me feel like shit by crying the ENTIRE period. *shrugs* Whatever... I don't care about anything anymore... not a damn thing... I want summer to get here... so I can just sleep... .sleep for like a month or two...

(no subject)

Once... he wrote a poem
And called it "Chops."
Because that was the name of his dog,
and that’s
what it was all about.
And the teacher gave him an "A"
And a gold star.
And his mother hung it on the kitchen
door and
read it to all his aunts...
Once...he wrote another poem.
And he called it "Question Marked Innocence."
Because that was the name of his grief
and that’s
what it was all about.
And the professor gave him an "A"
And a strange and steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door,
because he never let her see it...
Once...at 3 a.m....he tried another poem...
And he called it absolutely nothing,
because that’s
what it was all about.
And he gave himself an "A"
And a slash on each damp wrist,
And hung it on the bathroom door
because he
couldn’t reach the kitchen.
why can't I have his luck and actually be able to kill myself... why must I be forced to walk this damn planet?
Once... he wrote a poem
And called it "Chops."
Because that was the name of his dog,
and that’s
what it was all about.
And the teacher gave him an "A"
And a gold star.
And his mother hung it on the kitchen
door and
read it to all his aunts...
Once...he wrote another poem.
And he called it "Question Marked Innocence."
Because that was the name of his grief
and that’s
what it was all about.
And the professor gave him an "A"
And a strange and steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door,
because he never let her see it...
Once...at 3 a.m....he tried another poem...
And he called it absolutely nothing,
because that’s
what it was all about.
And he gave himself an "A"
And a slash on each damp wrist,
And hung it on the bathroom door
because he
couldn’t reach the kitchen.



why can't I have his luck and actually be able to kill myself... why must I be forced to walk this damn planet?
This is bullshit... everytime I think i've found someone that can replace a litle of what left when dad died 1 of 3 things happens... they die... they leave me... or they totally and utterly reject me... thats just one of 3 more reasons I got today to fucking give up on my pathetic existance... all I am is bad luck...