Why is it...

Why is it 99% of women on dating sites match at minimum several of the following: parent, divorced, separated, looking for friends only, has to be drunk to have fun?

Hall of Fame

Osama Bin Laden has been inducted into the hide & seek hall of fame as best hider of all time.

Bah

According to a U.S. official on May 2, bin Laden's body was handled in accordance with Islamic practice and tradition and was buried at sea soon after his death... how convenient.

Bin Laden dead, Superman defects

Bah! Superman renounced his citizenship, because he’s in Iran supporting the rebels and Iran takes it as an act of war by the U.S. so he renounced his citizenship in the latest issue.

McDumbasses

McDonalds told mr their "drive-thru is down" over the intercom. Intercom works get a fucking pad of paper and walk to a functional register!

Wait... If the intercom works you can take my order at a register up front!!!

I'd like a shower...

I'd like a shower, here I go going to get one... oh wait there is my brother... taking his 2nd shower in 6 hours... *grumble*

Home

I really hate coming home. I think hell would be a better place to go to. *nods*

Fast 5

Saw Fast 5 Yesterday. Good movie... what's screwed up though is my ticket was $5.00, a pop $5.25.

Milk

Getting cussed out for "MY" milk leaking in the fridge. Nice considering I haven't bought milk in at least 4 years.